Life goes on, though it is tough

Assalamualaikum All,
It's taking me too long hibernating and away from the blog..yes reason being is that.. I THOUGHT I was pregnant... I thought la... because there are many things for sure that made me feel like one! As I went through google, there are so many pages and sites that share what your early pregnancy symptoms are, and tell me about it.. I had 70% of it with me, for the cycle this time around... Some of it are:

1. Nausea - yeap, selalu pening that I can't even get up. Kalau bangun je mesti kepala berdenyut denyut. 
2. Hunger Game - Ahha... yes it is, I am as hungry as a kid who has unhappy stomach... I've been "attacking" rice rice and rice when all this while, I don't really bother to even stare at rice!
3. Cramping - If I can even name the lists of songs that have been played in my stomach, I just would... too many songs, too much hurt!
4. Smell Sensitivity - I kind of not like some of my husband's perfume that every time he puts it on, I always have this unpleasant feeling and felt like telling him to get a new one, when last time, whatever perfume that he has, used to be my favourite!



Faint - A week after missed period

5. Faint Line Pregnancy Test - did two tests and this appeared!

   

   Very Faint - the day that I got my spotting - you have to really zoom to see it clearly

6. Spotting - Well, I had spotting that lasted for 2 days only, and it seemed to appear 2 days before my period due.. which made it obvious that it's a sign of pregnancy... 
7. Sore Boobs - Sakit... very painful that is also heavy!
8. Lazy as a cow - Well, I was born to be a lazy person I guess.. but this time around it made it worst that it turned me to be a lazy cow that I refused to do anything at all.. I'm a one lucky wife that my husband is always there supporting me :p 
9. Late Period - I was late... up to 13 days... and the day that I bleed, I cried like there's no tomorrow.. well, you know how things can be very frustrating... especially when that is all that you want... :(

So, don't you think you will feel the same when you're at my shoe? Before I realised that I had Chemical Pregnancy, I intended to see the doctor if i'm late for 14 days... But I guess Allah is powerful and meciful, that he wants me to save my money and time by letting me know that I wasn't pregnant.. Devastated I am, but however, I feel thankful that I at least have experienced some signs of early pregnancy...I should not give up, shouldn't I?

*I'm on the verge of breaking down and I really hope i'm tougher day by day to go through this.. Some might think it's just an early misscarriage, but I think, I deserve to have this grieving because I know how it feels to lose someone / something precious... but one thing for sure, I accept the fact that Allah knows best.. *

For those who are not sure what is chemical pregnancy, you may refer here